How I Am

Two weeks ago, I had my hysterectomy.  Surgery went fine, and I was able to go home the next day.  For several days, I didn't feel like getting on the computer.  You know, that I'm bored, but I don't feel like doing anything thing?  About the time I started feeling like getting on the computer, my cord stopped working, causing my battery to run down.  Finally, I have a new cord (3rd one in the 2 1/2 years!). 

People keep asking me how I'm doing.  My response is pretty much this: I hurt.  all. the. time.  It's ridiculous because I don't feel bad in any other way.  I'm not tired. I'm not puny. I just have an achy, crampy abdomen. 

Mentally and emotionally, I'm okay too.  For now.  I really haven't let myself think about it much, to be honest, other than a few jokes here and there. (I have totally inappropriate humor -- the more jokes, the deeper my hurt.)   I know there will come that moment when I get knocked in the face (heart) with the fact that I can not have more children.  I just hope that I can stand up to it.

Mainly, now, I'm just frustrated that I can't do anything. That my stomach is huge (I can't wait for someone to ask me when I'm due!). That I can't wear anything decent because of the huge, hurting tummy.  That I can't get out of the house because of the huge, hurting tummy that makes me wear huge, ugly clothes.  That I hurt.


all. the. time.




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Wordless Wednesday - Who's in my Kitchen?!

 

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Wordless Wednesday: Father's Day

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A Song that Makes Me Think of My Daddy

 Since it's Father's Day, I thought I'd do a Daddy post.  Next week I'll get back to the usual Momma series!


When I was a little girl, I loved to hear Eric Clapton's rendition of "I Shot the Sheriff."  I never bothered to pay attention to most of the words -- only one line was important to me:

I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.

This line thrilled me because my daddy was a deputy, and I was very glad that he did not get shot.  Like I said, I didn't bother to pay attention to the words.  Or maybe it was that I didn't quite understand the lyrics.  Either way, I loved the song because it made me think of my daddy.






Check out my usual Sunday series: Songs My Momma Taught Me.

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